Turn Your Difficult Conversations into Productive Ones with COIN
#008 - Transform the Way You Communicate at Work and in Life
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What you should remember:
For your tough conversations, use COIN: Context, Observation, Impact, Next.
Practice, practice, practice – only then can you build the habit to communicate skillfully.
In a world where effective communication is crucial, both personally and professionally, the acronym COIN emerges as a powerful tool to guide productive and meaningful conversations.
What is COIN?
COIN is a framework designed to facilitate brave and constructive conversations, essential for personal and professional growth. Although it may seem a bit complex at first, with practice, it becomes an intuitive framework for addressing those difficult conversations that we often avoid.
I briefly discussed this model in my article "From Conflicts to Commitments: The 4 Relational Toxins and Their Antidotes," but since many leaders I coach find this tool very useful, I decided to provide you with more information so that you can use it effectively.
The Four Pillars of COIN
Context: Here, you establish the stage, recalling the circumstances, timing, and location of the events. It's important to be collaborative and curious, allowing both parties to share their memories and perspectives. Openness to different viewpoints is key.
Observation: This step involves describing what you observe in a neutral manner, avoiding interpretations or judgments, which means avoiding the use of "you" and using more "I" instead. It's a moment to practice self-management and assume good intentions, fostering a more open and honest dialogue.
Impact: Here, you discuss the effect of the observed actions. It's crucial to speak from a personal perspective, sharing how these actions have affected you and being curious about how they have impacted others. This step helps to understand the bigger picture and the effect on the relationship or broader context.
Next: Finally, you address what you would like to see change in the future. If there's a specific behavior you want to see modified, this is the time to ask for it clearly and establish an agreement for the future.
COIN in Practice
Implementing COIN may seem challenging at first, but with practice and commitment, it becomes an invaluable tool for improving our communication skills. It teaches us to be more reflective and less reactive, improving not only our conversations but also our relationships.
I invite you to try this method in your next tough conversation. You'll see how, with a little effort, COIN can transform the way you communicate, leading to more positive and constructive outcomes both at work and in your personal life.
I’m Valentin, Owner & Principal Coach at LeadnScale. We focus on helping individuals, leaders and teams achieve and sustain positive behavioral change.
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Feel free to reach out by email at valentin@leadnscale.com if you think we could be of help for you as an individual or a business.